Keeps crashing Dracula's parties because he doesn't get invited to them. Has a habit of killing monsters whenever he sees them. Is gay with Joel.

What we know about himEdit

He was born in 1995. He grew up in a nursery reading some Reading Rainbow. In 2002, when he was 7, he and his friends went on to in his school. Due to Swayzak appearing, and taunting them in a New Zealand accent, saying things such as "You will never get past this," "You'll never defeat us!" and "You aren't strong enough to defeat me! I'll get you soon!" they couldn't get rid of the site. One of Simon's friends, Kevin, tried to close the site. When the teacher walked in she made a "raptor noise." Kevin got the blame and Simon had chicken nuggets. Kevin then disliked Simon.

When he was 8 or 9 in 2003 or 4 (when he got MTV2 and they kept playing this one video by the Ying Yang Twins and, if the latter, when Cyborg was recorded saying "It's my room. [...]"), he secretly watched Total Recall on VHS. When his father found out, his father said "This is what you like to watch; this is what you like watching?! Huh? Huh!" At the same time, Simon was watching the scene where Arnold went to Mars and made the famous "Eaaghh eaaghh" sound. So while Simon's dad was yelling, Arnold was going "Eaaghh eaaghh." He also used to believe that trees had feelings. When he was hanging out with his friend, he kicked a tree. Simon, thinking that the kid had hurt the tree, scolded him, telling him that he shouldn't kick trees because of this.

Recently, he started up Team Fortress 2 and then he saw a creepy bald man. He didn't care.


  • The chicken nuggets he ate when he was 7 were McDonalds' McNuggets, and he had it with szechaun sauce.